{DREAMS AND CALLINGS PART 3} the battle of patience

If you’ve been following my blog for a bit, you’ll notice that I’ve started a series that I add to at random—the Dreams and Callings series. I wrote the first part last July about how the best is yet to come, then I talked about surrender in September (yay, alliteration!). It seems I’ve begun a habit of writing a Dreams and Callings post every few months, because I here I am again, ready to write part three of who-knows-how-many.

 

I want to talk about patience.

 

Yes, the lovely word that we’ve all heard from our parents—be patient!!! Unfortunately for me, I’m a get-it-done sort of person. Waiting isn’t my forte; if I am waiting, I’m working on something else.

 

After setting aside my manuscript of Found back in July, I’ve felt like I’ve been running in place. I spent three months outlining and writing a manuscript—then I scrapped it because I didn’t like it. I spent the next two months with a new manuscript—and now I’m in for a major rewrite. And though I’m very excited about it, I peer down the road wondering when I’ll be able to publish, and it could be a year and a half, two years. No shortcuts. Just one step at a time, each step seeming to go very, very slowly.

 

I want to go go go, but I’m moving through Jello, wading through thick water, and the island seems no closer now than it ever was.

 

Often, when we’re working toward a goal that seems impossibly far away—finishing school, publishing, etc—discouragement comes so hard that we quit moving and let our passion die out, convinced that nothing matters until we’re There.

 

Yet we forget we are somewhere already—here. And the path to There is made up of Here’s. Here is just as good as There if we’re looking at it the right way.

 

As this new year starts off and I plunge into two rewrites—one for Found and the other for Prison Zero—I’m trying to take time to really be Here. Pondering and praying about it, I asked God why I can’t be There yet. Is There not ready for me? Is the Thing I want to do not in place, not finished for me yet? Why can’t it just snap into place for me right now?

 

I love how God answers our prayers, because for this prayer, He seemed to open my eyes to see things I hadn’t before. He showed me where I was this year in relation to where I was last year. He made me ask “could I really have done what I’m doing now as ‘last year me?’”

 

No, I realized. I wouldn’t have been able to do any of this as younger-me. The One who truly knows me knew that I wasn’t ready then. And now? Could I handle publishing a book right now? Well, maybe my writing would be good enough. But my platform may be too small. I might not be able to physically/emotionally/spiritually handle what may come with publishing a book. My knowledge might be lacking in something I don’t know that I don’t know.

 

In short, there is some reason—even if we don’t see it—that we are not There.

 

 

Does wrapping our minds around that take away the impatience? No. I still want to cut corners to get There faster. I still wish I was There. But just because we aren’t There doesn’t mean we can’t still be fruitful Here.

 

Here is a beautiful place too. Here is the training grounds, like an internship before a full job, or a courtship before a marriage. Here is where we learn the skills we will need for There. If we were suddenly thrown into There, we would be ill equipped to handle anything.

 

God’s making us wait because He loves us. He wants us to be as ready as possible for whatever life is going to throw our way. He’s training us like soldiers training for battle; though the training might be tedious, once the battle starts, we’ll be glad we spent the time training.

 

Your waiting is for a reason. No matter what it is you’re waiting for, it’s because you still have skills to acquire. Perhaps that skill is simply the realization of how important patience is. We’ve all heard the joke that you shouldn’t ask God for patience, because He’s going to force you to wait a long time, right? Better to learn patience now than later.

 

My prayer for you is that you see the beauty in waiting. Oak trees don’t grow overnight. They push up through the ground and battle through drought and fire until one day, they’re There—full grown, flourishing. Our dreams are like that—we are like that. God’s conditioning us for our future. Let’s be patient and thrive in whatever season of waiting we’re in.

 

 

<3

audrey caylin

 

 

There’s the little ramblings of an impatient dreamer 😛 What do you think about patience? How do you combat the urge to cut corners? What have you learned through waiting?

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22 Comments

  • Reply
    Sarah Rodecker @Pen of a Ready Writer
    January 20, 2018 at 4:54 am

    This is great! There is a reason we’re likened to a tree planted by the water, bringing our fruit in the right season. Waiting is a beautiful thing, even though it can be tough at times.

    Thanks for sharing this reminder!

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 20, 2018 at 7:18 pm

      Thanks! And yes, definitely. God will have us ready right when we need to be 🙂

  • Reply
    Kate Flournoy
    January 20, 2018 at 5:19 am

    AMEN. AND AMEN.
    This is so important. Thank you so much for stating it so clearly and beautifully.

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 20, 2018 at 7:18 pm

      Thank you, Kate! =)

  • Reply
    Tracey Dyck
    January 20, 2018 at 9:17 am

    You must have read my journal–this is exactly what’s been on my heart for years! And you said it so beautifully. I had to put my phone down for a second to absorb that question, “Could you have done this a year ago?” Thinking back over what I’ve learned in the past year and a half, there’s no way I could’ve handled my Here. Thank you so much for this post, Audrey! <3

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 21, 2018 at 6:38 pm

      Wow, that’s ironic xD

      I’m so glad you liked it! That question of if I could have done any of this a year ago hit me really hard too. 😛

  • Reply
    rileyalinewrites
    January 20, 2018 at 9:19 am

    I LOVE THIS! YES. Patience is really hard, and I feel like there are plenty of things that, if I had waited, could’ve been better. So I’m really hoping that this year, I’ll pray fully consider things and wait rather than rushing in. Akdkahagdj I love this series you’re doing so much.

    Good luck with Found and Prison Zero, whatever that looks like for you, Audrey!! I know it’s gonna be great, especially with patience!

    ~ riley aline

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 21, 2018 at 6:40 pm

      I know! I rush things way too much and then I wonder if I didn’t rush them it would have been better, so I just gotta learn to wait.

      I wish I could tell you what the next one will be on…but I don’t have the slightest clue xD

      Thanks so much, Riley! <3

  • Reply
    Lila Kims
    January 20, 2018 at 11:35 am

    This post is so relateable and inspiring, Audrey!! The wait can be sooooo hard sometimes, but your post is an awesome reminder this stage of my writing journey is super important, and it’s where I need to be at the moment.

    Thank you! <3

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 21, 2018 at 6:41 pm

      Thank you, Lila! I’m glad it came at a good time for you 🙂

  • Reply
    Catherine Hawthorn (Farm Lassie)
    January 20, 2018 at 12:22 pm

    I’m not a very patient person either, Audrey!!!

    Writing definitely does feel like wading through Jello some days – it’s fun at first but then it just drags. Ugh.

    I love and agree with you also on the training ground analogy. I’m just starting on my boot camp *smiles wearily*.

    Good luck with your rewrites!!

    Catherine
    catherinesrebellingmuse.blogspot.com

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 21, 2018 at 6:42 pm

      I guess we’re boot camp buddies 😉 At least we’re all in it together! Knowing we’re not the only ones waiting makes it a lot easier.

      Thanks, Catherine! <3

  • Reply
    Lyla Kae
    January 20, 2018 at 6:15 pm

    Loved this! Patience is also something I struggle with so this was very relatable for me! Keep up the amazing work!!!

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 21, 2018 at 6:43 pm

      Thank you, Lyla! =)

  • Reply
    Jane Maree
    January 21, 2018 at 2:28 pm

    Argh. This is so encouraging. Beginning of last year, I was convinced I could get published by now, but over the year I learnt so much and I’ve grown in writing and in faith and everything in general and…Now I know that waiting is necessary, and how now is important. This post is suuuuch a good encouragement and reminder though. <3

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 21, 2018 at 6:44 pm

      Sameee! I thought I’d have published months ago, but here I am 😛 I’m grateful for all I’ve learned though, and hope that one day I’ll get there.

  • Reply
    Hailey
    January 22, 2018 at 7:32 am

    Thank you for this! So beautiful and encouraging.

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 22, 2018 at 10:50 am

      I’m glad you liked it, Hailey! Thanks for reading 🙂

  • Reply
    Chelsea R. H.
    January 25, 2018 at 11:15 pm

    I loved this! It’s exactly the place I’ve been in for the past year or so. I’m so impatient to move on, but God truly does know what he’s doing when he makes us wait and exercise patience! I’ll be glad for it one day, even if it’s not yet 😀

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      January 28, 2018 at 6:14 pm

      Absolutely! We’ll be very grateful one day 🙂

  • Reply
    Elizabeth
    February 9, 2018 at 10:19 am

    This post is so good. What you said about being here, and not being able to be here and year ago, is so true! Thank you for this post <3

    • Reply
      Audrey Caylin
      February 13, 2018 at 5:30 pm

      Thank you so much, Elizabeth! Thanks for reading! <3

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